Requiem V.1

What more am I than a living requiem to the deceased?
What further purpose can I have beyond their graves?
Why do I exist only in their memory?
This is what I am.  A requiem to their dreams.
Fallen.  Beaten.  Torn.
I have no true self anymore.
I have lost all I once was
and live only as a tribute to the dreams of the dead.

This is what I have become,
the sad horrible beauty.
The pain that was never mine
still haunts me,
their deaths still haunt me.

The only life I have is this.
To live...because I must.
Because living is all I know.
This casual existance...
is perhapse all I can ever have.
Still, I know that
wether I live or die makes no great difference.

Why do I take comfort in that fact?
Why does it comfort me that no one remains
to mourn me when I too fall?
Even memories die...
we fade with time.
into the dim darkness,
the color grey.

All I see is grey.
No feeling remains.
Nothing but the emptyness of the dead.
No more than the cold of the grave.
The embrace of cool earth...

Even after you have fallen, I remain.
Doomed, damned, bound to this earth.
This hollow life...
I live.
I remain.
I endure
as nothing but a requiem to the dead.